Quacktastic!

Being a duck.  I wonder what it must be like.

Some days I think being an animal would be pretty nice...You can sleep as long as you like and take as many naps along the way as your little heart desires. You don't have to be anywhere at any specific time - just a specific season. You don't have to go to work. You don't have to pay any bills. You don't have to worry about your weight. You don't have to worry about being presentable (unless you are a male and it is mating season). You can drop a deuce wherever and whenever you want.




Expectations are low. All you have to do is survive.

We humans have complicated our own lives in such a way that there is more that "just surviving." Our expectations are a living, growing sort of document and really are we ever satisfied? The worries are constant. The stress is never ending. We are our own worst enemies and the predators we are trying to protect ourselves against are of our own species. But given the time we live it, it isn't easy to "live simply." Oh to be a duck...

 

...To stand in icy water and be okay with it. To swim in mucky water and find a clear enough spot to go diving for lunch. To shake your tail feather enough to win the privilege of making a little clutch of eggs with a lady bird. To play Marco Polo with your geese friends. And to be the envy of the naked, upright primates that mosey along and snap your picture on their smart phones...

 

C.

Girl Problems - #2

"Are you okay?"
".....yes?"
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes?  I'm fine...why??"
"Because you look like you were crying. Your eyes are red (signals to under eyes) right here."
"Oh...well, I don't have my face on yet. I guess I better do that...(before I scare anyone else)..."

While I have been doing a much better job of adhering to Resolution #7, I haven't been perfect. Turns out today my timing flaw could have helped a friend!

Girl Problem #2 - makeup. For whatever reason, our species just HAS to be opposite of the rest of the animal kingdom.  Our boys don't have to dress up and look pretty.  Ladies, on the other hand, have a certain expectation of being considered presentable.  One includes having on makeup. Whether it is a little or a lot, most of us get looked at sideways, or are given medicine because we look ill, if we don't have it on. And the fact of the matter is that most of us feel naked without it.  And no matter how dressed up we are, it isn't quite complete without our powder, blush, shadow, mascara, or lip gloss.

My girl, Sunny, met with her networking group this morning (as she does weekly) and got all gussied up!  She is an effortless beauty and looks great no matter what but today I could certainly commiserate with her predicament. She forgot to put on her makeup.  How the?! So there she is with colleagues with a bare face.  At the time, she was none the wiser.  But afterward, after noticing how soft her lashes felt, realized what had gone awry. In reflection about the morning, she realized she got some sideways glances. Now she knew why. She was going to ask if she could use my stuff (and duh! Of course she can!) but forgot.

I once went to an interview with only half my eye makeup on...meaning I forgot to do the left eye. I didn't know what I had, or really hadn't, done until after the interview was over.  I felt like a complete buffoon! I didn't get the job...couldn't have been my lack of attention to detail.   

There are tutorials on how to do makeup the "right" way - how to make it look 'natural', how to do a smokey eye, how to make your eyes look bigger, how to exaggerate it for stage and photo, how to look like a clown...

Frankly, I am still winging it with the hopes that I don't look horrifying or worse - sickly! And I won't pretend I don't get a little judgy when I hear of ladies putting on fresh makeup to go to the gym and workout...if you are really there to workout, it's gonna come off anyway. If a plan a day in which I don't want to mess with the stuff and we happen to be leaving the house, I ask permission from the husband if it is ok....after all, he will be the one associated with the tired, lazy looking one.

C.

It's On Me!

Before I get into it, I have to call special attention to my friend, Lori, who yelled at me for not having my entry done yet! Apparently, she reads during her lunch.  Little did I know that sweet, southern, SASSAFRAS Lori needed reading material! LOL This one is for you, my Nashville Sweet Tea!

Yesterday was sorta crummy. Things just kept going wrong and there was really no redemption to be had. Universe - 1: Chantel - 0. But today? Today would be different! 

To begin with, it is my husband's birthday.  He is a spry 44 and has a lot to show for it! The kiddo and I get up a little early and set out his gifts and cards and get ready for our day.  We are out of the door with time to spare.  Good start! 

It snowed last night so I was anticipating a loooooong commute.  You'd think in Denver people would get plenty of practice driving in the stuff but every storm is the like first one ever since the beginning of time. It is a cluster eff and you can count on all the morons making you late to your engagements. As part of my planning, I scoot through McD's to get some breakfast.  If being in gridlock isn't bad enough, being there with a growling stomach is the pits. While I am waiting to get to window #1, I make the snap decision to "pay it forward" and pay for the car behind me.  I've never done that before!  It felt GREAT!

Truth be told, I'm glad it wasn't a minivan full of football players.  I lucked out and it was just a single order of breakfast.  I didn't ask before I paid since I thought that would be tacky.  "How much?  Oh $30? Well, never mind then." While it would have been nice to be a fly in her car when she was told she was paid for (but not like a fancy prostitute), I can only hope I helped make her Tuesday better.

 

Small, random acts of kindness are the glue that holds us together as a society I think. There is so much ick in the world and people bicker and fight all the time but do you really ever stop to think of that single, small, nice thing someone did for you?  I can say that I have a difficult time stopping and remembering those moments.  It often feels like people are just out to get us, but really that isn't true.  There is good.  There are reasons to move on. There are always reasons to love. And never forget to forgive. Stop and smell the roses they say...in this case, the McMuffin.

I think I'll do this again sometime....pay for an unsuspecting stranger.  Why?  Because I can, I don't need a reason, and it just may be the single, kind thing in their day...and I can't afford to dole out caviar. (Resolution #10 - done...for now.)

C.

Stupid Brain #2

So soon and I'm on to #2. At this rate I'll be in double digits in no time!

It all started yesterday when I burnt the top of my wrist on the oven door. Smart. Then this morning I got to field the miniature's case of the Mondays.  "I don't want to go to school....it's so boring!" I tried to calm the storm with logic and reason which when broken down equalled the worst reason on the planet: because I said so. Good one, Mama C.

I leave the house and embark on my journey to work. Fifteen minutes in and I realize I forgot my laptop. Brilliant. I text my boss and get, "We need to handcuff that thing to you." That would probably be a good move. Thankfully he is a nice guy and doesn't hate me for being a idiot.

Then (this one is rich) I manage to send the wrong IM to the exact wrong person and ruin a birthday surprise.  Genius!

My brain is wack today! And it's only 1:54pm. Lunch time is over.

C.

It's a Date!

It is not easy for me to keep a secret.  Especially when it comes to presents.  This is part of the reason it is a bad idea for me to shop early...I can't wait to give! I have been better at the waiting game but it hasn't really been any easier.

 

My husband's birthday is coming up and I wanted to surprise him. After nearly 9 years of marriage, and about 24 birthdays between the two of us, the perfect gift is hard to come by.  After kicking around a couple of ideas, I decided what I wanted to do for him and called my mom hoping she could keep the kiddo overnight. She could! Ok, game on.

 

Last night was the big date.  V caught on to something but thought I was planning a surprise party for him.  Um...no.  Sorry, dear.  It's just a date...sans son. Restaurant of choice: Texas de Brazil.

This place is great!  To really dumb it down, it is a very unique buffet experience. All kinds are welcome - I saw men in sport coats, ladies in heels, sneakers, sweatshirts, and a guy wearing his rodeo bib from the stockshow. There is a giant, less that ordinary salad bar, some hot side dishes, lobster bisque, and the piece de resistance - endless skewered meat!

Our server, Aldo, was amazing.  He was on-point the whole time and made us feel very welcome.  He even took our picture. We ordered our drinks - waters and a glass of Riesling for me (shut it! I like it anytime!!) - and get the green light for the salad bar. 

After we get our appetites primed, it is time to turn the coasters to "green". Men with the meat skewers come around and give you meat as long as you like. There are all kinds of versions of beef, chicken, lamb, and sausage. Plate is full - turn to "red".
 

As we are eating, I take notice of our company.  At my 9 o'clock, we have a table of 3 complete with an off duty Gladiator. This guy was huge even by V's standards.  At 12, another table of three which happens to have a toddler.  These folks didn't bother to take their daughter's hat or coat off the whole time.  But wait, their coats were on the whole time too.  Oooookkkk.  And finally, at 2 o'clock, there was a gal with a dress so short that her who-haa was practically hanging out.  They prayed before their meal. 

We finish our fill of food and really needed to be rolled out of the place. But now is not the time to stop!  If you are going to bother to go out for date night, you should bother to get dessert.  So, we did. We have a look at the dessert tray (you know, the plastic food that looks like the real thing) and choose the "Brazilian cheesecake".  

This looked too pretty to eat!  I accept the challenge! Now that we are completely uncomfortable, it is time to pay the bill and get the heck out of Dodge!  I had planned for us to head up to Central City for some light gambling, but we opted to stay down. 

 

It was a great night!  We got home, let the wolf pack out (read: cuddly, non-threatening, pretty girls), said goodnight to the boy, yada yada yada, slept in, went to pick him up. :)

 

Cheers!

C.

 

Co-pilot...without a license.

All families are different.  From the members to the dynamic within.  About 2 years ago, my family was changed.  Prior to March 2011, it had 5 members that called our old brick house home - Me, Verne, Sloan, Daisy (Dog #1) and Lily (Dog #2).  Daisy had been in my life since she was a puppy at 10 weeks old.  This was one spunky beagle.  She was beautiful, listened only sometimes, howled almost all the time, but was always there to greet us when we came home.  She fell ill with a sizable mass in her abdomen.  At this point, she was 13.  The poor girl needed to be put down.  It was the best thing for her. This was in March 2011.

With the death of a loved one, furry or not, it effects everyone in the family different.  We all cried, but were able to move on. The one that took her absence the hardest was Lily.  The poor girl was quite mopey for what seemed like forever.  She missed her sister. So in May, we decided to take a trip to the shelter to find a new family member. 

Verne and I had discussed what sort of dog we wanted - I really wanted a boxer.  We even discussed the name on our way.  I have a thing with naming my girls after flowers. We got Lily from Denver Dumb Friend League so we wanted to try again.

We got there and all the dogs we wanted to meet were already spoken for.  I was really bummed out.  Then we were given a list of potential companions that were not on the showroom floor just yet.  We saw a few possibilities on there and asked to see them.  We meet #1.  It just didn't feel right.  Then we met #2. Hmm...she is quite wonderful! We discuss and give it the go.  This little girl will become our 5th wheel. 

Magnolia is a black and white cocker spaniel.  She took to us right away and is such a well-behaved little pup.  She asserted herself with Lily but I think Lily didn't mind a bit.  She was used to being an Omega.

Maggie is my girl.  She and I just click. I never thought I would feel so much love for an animal in all my life.  I loved Daisy for sure but this was different.  Maggie loves me back. She is the kind of dog that wants to be wherever the people are all the time. She loves walks. She loves car rides.  In fact, I cannot manage to drive without her co-piloting in my lap.

Thinking about her reminded me of something my husband posted on Facebook the other day about dogs.  They are born to love.  They know how and they do it well...without being taught.  If we lived our lived like a pupper, it would look something like this:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

And Daisy? We have her ashes in our bedroom in a box covered in 'Amore'. We still miss her a lot.  Xoxo, Hound Dog. And another sister has been added. Dahlia.  That is a whole 'nother entry all together.

C.

Yo, V.I.P! Let's kick it!

It's Friday.  It's a 'lunch out' sort of day.  Destination Qdoba with the M.A.C. (Matt, Amanda "Mandy", Chantel) lunch bunch.

I like to go to one particular Qdoba because it is next door to Cold Stone and when you enter the doors, you are welcomed with the sweet aroma of waffle cones.  If we are honest with each other, that smells better than quick Mexican-ish food.

This guy gets in line behind us:

IT'S VANILLA ICE!!!! Alright, STOP! Collaborate and listen! Mandy and I give each other a hard look (now is not the time to stare or laugh) and I tell her I need a picture.  I get one word, "Done."

There is much to be said about this one-time hit maker of the 1990's. A. Faded high-top with fashionable lines shaved in and a braided rattail - hot! 2. In his famous "Ice Ice Baby" video, he was rocking University of Miami gear like he owned the place. As it turns out, he never attended.  III. He may have pioneered some Zumba moves in this same video.  D. In recent history, he has been a guest judge on HGTV's Design Star (I didn't even have to Google that one - I watch the show.) 5. His real name is Robert Van Winkle.

Now, if you say to yourself, "That doesn't look like Rob," I challenge you to dispute this:

Qdoba guy is complete with the shaved design and I'm willing to bet he does a mean running man.  Just saying. But be careful who you Google, because this is also Robert Van Winkle and I think he plays a better game of pinochle than he waxes a chump like a candle:

If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE

Word to your mother.

C.

Karma

You know, what goes around comes around. Some days you get slapped with a big ole piece of karma cake and it tastes....DELICIOUS! Check it out...

The Google rectangle was about the size of my old monitors. I've been upgraded to a cool 22" dual screen! And it's not even my birthday!

To what do I owe this to?  Well, I'll tell you.  A gentleman I work with brought me his wife's ring because it was missing an accent diamond and was out of round.  After looking at it thoroughly, I found that the center diamond was chipped. :(  I let him know of this and asked him how he would like to proceed. He said he would take to his bride and get back to me. 

They wanted to see if insurance would cover replacement and asked if I could draft a letter explaining the condition of the ring and my recommendations on repair/replacement.  I happily did that for him.  He works on our Service Desk so I am certain there have been many things he has helped me out with.

After all is said and done with the letter, he informs me that my monitors are too small and he'd get me some new ones.  I think to myself, "Huh? Too small, eh? Hmph.  Well, I guess they are little but I'm used to them." So I admittedly shrug it off, say OK!, and just let it lie.

Well, lookie at what got installed today! Holy crap I didn't realize how puny my other monitors were! I'm seriously like a little kid getting a new toy!  I have so much real estate now that I don't know what to do with myself.  I can look at a whole spreadsheet without scrolling to the right or left in most cases - that, my friends, is a big deal to me!

They say no good deed goes unpunished but today, I beg to differ.  Thank you, Marcus, for my new, shiny, BIG monitors! Oh and one other thing - the new ring Mrs. Marcus is getting is stunning.

C.

Just....Wednesday.

I almost didn't make a composition today.  Why? Nothing to talk about.  Nothing particularly interesting happened today that anyone would care about. The real reason for the post is to just adhere to the resolution. 

My bestie, Sunny, has her own resolution.   (I'll keep it vague since I didn't ask permission to make her my subject today.) She just embarked on it and is, so far, doing a great job!  However, spending some time with me today throttled some progress.  I felt awful that I jacked her up so much but I love her attitude after we talked about it..."Oh well, start again tomorrow." Yes.  Always tomorrow.

So often I am the leader of my own demise. I mess up one time and in goes the towel. I expect perfection and if that doesn't happen, I may as well just give up. I realize this is stupid. No one is perfect and I should take the guidance I give my son - things take practice.  Walking takes practice. Writing a daily blog takes practice.  Getting into a workout routine takes practice. Sticking to a diet takes practice. Being a good fraud detector takes practice. Arguing well takes practice. Keeping your face clean while eating spaghetti takes practice - a LOT of practice!

You get it...everything takes practice. If you mess up, there is always tomorrow to do your best to get it right. Today is not the end. Today is not the day to throw in the towel. Tomorrow you will be better. Tomorrow, carpe diem!

So as it turns out, I did learn something very valuable today. Thank you for another free session, Sunbug! You didn't even know you were schooling me in a life lesson. :)

C.

 

Tied??!

As Super Bowl XLVII (47) approaches, I am saddened by my less-than-epic bracket performance. As luck would have it, I didn't expect either of the final teams - The San Francisco 49ers or the Baltimore Ravens - to make it to the big show.  As with most of Denver, I had a big giant glass of the blue and orange koolaid expecting the good guys to make it. Most of my eggs were in that basket. The day the Broncos died was the day my bracket has no chance.

There were 36 players this year.  I came in 8th place - tied with 2 others for the coveted spot. It is certainly nothing to write home about but a blog entry?? Yes!  8th place doesn't even have a ribbon color.  What color should 7th loser get?

So here I stand at the corner of 8th Place and Disappointed Drive just looking forward to the commercials. And if I am to be completely honest, I'll likely be cramming my cake hole with red and gold cupcakes.  Purple and yellow took the good guys out. I refuse to enjoy any of those.

I'm no fair-weather fan.  I'll be whipping up a nice big pitcher of the orange stuff every Sunday starting in September. We always have next year...

C.


 

Fun Size!

All things in moderation they say.  Just have a little bit they say.  Taste it then wash your mouth out they say.  Well I say BAH! Fun size is just a gateway to the KING size.  You always want another fun size...one is never enough. Or maybe that is just me. And before I know it, I've had about 8 fun size which is more than a regular in the first place! It's all a trick. How about this - just sell the regular sizes in a cute bag with big letters.  In the end, I'll save about 500 calories. Just saying.

I want more chocolate.

C.

Pinterest Project #1 - Garbage Bread

"Mom, what are we having for dinner?"
"Garbage bread!"
"What?! I don't want to eat GARBAGE!"

It does have a silly name.  And quite unappetizing at that. I can't blame the kid for judging the book by the title. I had never even heard of "garbage bread" until seeing it on Pinterest.  This particular variety, Buffalo Chicken Garbage Bread, just looked good!  So, I pinned it. (Savory Foods)

A little while back V and I were trying to get out of our food rut.  We are in this place often - right around potato soup time. I showed him this meal and he was game! However, I just didn't get around to making it for the regular reasons - read excuses. But tonight would be different. Mainly because he took out some chicken to thaw...what a guy!

As my dear, close friend Christina would tell you, I'm not much for following a recipe - even when we bake.  As she once put it, I just use the force to know when something is right. HAHA! That is a little bit of an exaggeration but I just don't like to follow recipes - it slows me down! And my chubby behind doesn't like to wait to eat!

Below are the ingredients I used but I cannot begin to tell you the quantity - I just used "what looked right."

• Chicken breast strips (that is what we had on hand)
• Olive oil
• Frank's Red Hot sauce
• Pizza dough (store bought - Pillsbury's **it has a Box Top! Score!**)
• Flour
• Ranch dressing
• Mozzarella cheese - shredded
• Cheddar cheese - shredded
• Salt

Preheat oven to 400.

First, I cooked the chicken in a little bit of olive oil.  I seasoned it with a smidge of salt while it was cooking. Once it was done, I cut it up in cubes.

I returned the chicken to the pan and added a little Frank's.  I mixed up the chicken with the sauce and heated throughout..removed the chicken from the heat. Next, I floured my counter top and rolled out the dough to a rectangle.  I made it big enough to fit all the yum ingredients edge to edge. Pizza dough likes to shrink so it will take a little patience to get it to spread.

Then, I poured a generous amount of ranch dressing and spread it around, and added a splash of Frank's. I wasn't too heavy-handed with the hot sauce since my son still has a sensitive pallet. Then I layered the mozzarella and cheddar cheese (I used more mo cheese - think pizza), added the chicken, and drizzled with a little more ranch.  The extra ranch was a safety net for the spice on the tiny boy tongue.

Looking good so far!  Now for the rolling trick - I started on the end making sure nothing fell out the sides.  Once I was almost at the other side, I pulled the end over the rolled part and pinched the outer edges closed. I wanted to make sure nothing oozed out!

I lined a cookie sheet with foil (because I'm lazy and don't like to wash pans) and gently placed the bread roll in the center.  I placed it on center rack to bake.  I don't recall how long - maybe 25 minutes? Tick tock! Finally it is time to take the thing out of the oven and eat!  Verdict - family approved!!  It wasn't too spicy for the mini and the husband just added more hot sauce to match his pallet. 

My one note - next time I will cover it with foil as it bakes so that the top doesn't get so brown.

I don't think this looks or tastes anything like garbage! We added some salad and called it a dinner! Cheers!

C.
 

Sticking to it

I had this plan for an epic post about the workings of Skate City as I saw it.  You see, Sloan was supposed to attend a birthday party for one of his classmates.  However, his sassy behind kept him from it....

On the whole, he is a great kid!  We get compliments all the time about how well-behaved he is and how charming, etc...he saves his bad attitude for his dad and me.  Which, I suppose, is how it should be. Today, he was filled with a special kind of vinegar that one could not ignore.

He was warned and told his consequence.  If he didn't straighten out, he would not be attending Brooke's party. He did not take this consequence seriously and continued to misbehave.  So now it's go time - do we stick to the punishment or cave to the negotiating and tear tactics and let him go? I try to play a hard game of parenting but I'm a sucker for my kid. Something about having me wrapped around his little finger?

I told V what I intended on doing - taking him to drop off Brooke's gift and he had to tell her he was sorry that he couldn't stay.  The man of the house agreed on this. Ok, Chantel, follow through. I got to hear about how mean I was all along the way (from the mini of course).  It prompted a "threatening" phone call to Dad about finding an adoption agency to take him too since he wanted a new mom. I figure that is the best place to start....the other option was to leave him at Wal-Mart but that is scary. You've seen peopleofwalmart.com right??

We get to Skate City - where young love blossoms - and about 3 minutes in, I get cracked in the ankle by a child wearing skates.  Felt good!  Then I am about to have about 6 heart attacks because all I can see (potentially) happening are children's feet going back and their chin smashing on the floor.  Paramedics?! None on site. I do my best to get Sloan to say his peace to Brooke to no avail. He was too embarrassed. 

The bad attitude didn't stop there because he got in trouble again later in the evening but I can only hope that this was a lesson learned.  If nothing else, I'm thankful I didn't have to clean up brain off the skating rink floor.

C.

Mind Games

We realize from a very young age we have the ability to manipulate our parents. It is not a taught skill but rather a natural occurrence in our species -human nature. If I cry, Mom will do *this*.  If I laugh, Dad will do *this*.  If I cry at Mom and laugh at Dad as the same time, I will confuse the hell out of them and they might shake me...better not do that!

Manipulation and strategy is a fancy way of talking about mind games. We all manipulate other people one way or another whether we like to admit it or not.  Manipulation has a negative connotation to it but it isn't automatically so.  For instance, you are nice to someone. The result of that is that they will likely be nice back...you have manipulated their emotions to get a response you desire in return. Anyone in a sales career must be a master manipulator if s/he intends on being successful.  Now, manipulation and strategy go hand in hand.  You must approach a situation with a strategy on how you will manipulate the opponent into the result you desire. This can all be very complicated but it is really quite simple.  Use babies as your test subject next time you want to have a fun experiment.

Being a strategic player in life takes a lot of practice.  This whole notion came to me last night while my son - who is 6 - and I were playing a rousing game of Blokus. This is a game of strategy in which you try to get as many of your pieces on the board within the set rules.  This was fun for me to experience with him because he thought he had me so many times! "HA! I blocked you!" What he doesn't quite realize yet is that he was really kind of hosing himself for future moves.  In games of strategy, you often have to think more than one move ahead.

I will never forget when I learned to play chess.  I went with Erica to a chess tournament in which her brother was playing in.  Just for clarity purposes, this family is brilliant.  Quite possibly the most intelligent group of 4 I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I had never even seen a chess board prior but Monte, bless his patient heart, taught me to play. I was 13ish. Of course, it took a while for me to even remember the names of the pieces and the directions they are allowed to move but I eventually got it! That is a game that takes years and years and lots of practice to have a chance against someone that has even one more practice game on you.  I should really play it more.

I will continue to teach my son how to play this game a little better and a little smarter so that one day he might beat me.  I did not let him win. He needs to learn that other valuable life lesson of being a gracious loser. My hope is that he can take these experiences from his bedroom floor into school and later into life so that he can form solid strategies of approach and manipulate to the goal. In the meantime, I mustn't give in to his cuteness. He's already nailed that one.

C.

Stupid Brain - #1

My brains fails me often - especially when it comes time to remember something. I cannot begin to explain how or why I remember some useless, unimportant things and forget other more useful, important things. I can't remember to sit down with my husband to make a budget, but I have no problem remembering what my last purchase from DSW was. No problem remembering to grab a soda for my drive, but I can't seem to remember to grab my computer so that I can actually work once I get there.  I'm totally absentminded.  I'm sorry...It is certainly a short-coming and proof that I'm no more perfect that anyone else. I'm regular.

This morning I made a promise to bring in cupcakes...because I forgot yesterday.  Totally spaced it out! DOH!  Some folks were very sad...like I had hurt-their-family sad! Ain't nobody got time for that so I had to make amends. Since I'm not a good sleeper (quite terrible in fact), I was dragging ass today but had to muscle through.  Looking through the ingredients I had on hand, I came up with my plan.  I'll make salted-caramel - caramel cake with salted-caramel buttercream.

I go through my regular routine when making these yum-o cakes and I was visited by a short person that looks a heck of a lot like my husband, "You woke me up, Mom." Oops.  "Sorry, buddy! You can lay on the couch if you want." He didn't.  He decided to draw instead. One never knows when inspiration will strike but I digress.

So my boy and I are chatting it up in the 6 o'clock hour of the day and have a nice time. Cupcakes are done. I let those cool while we eat come cereal and get started on the frosting. Frosting is done and applied, orange sanding sugar goes on, and it is finished with a caramel drizzle and some salt sprinkles.

Fast forward to 9am.  I'm making a lovely yellow and green "FREE" sign.  I usually sell these little babies for $3 - it is for the biz. But not today. No sir. 

"Chantel, why are these free today?"
me: "They aren't perfect. Just enjoy!"
"......."
me: "Seriously, they taste great but something is missing so I don't feel right about charging. My treat!"
"......"
me: "Eat it."
"Did you poison it??"
me: "Really."

You see, my brain failed me today.  I've made this recipe and variations therein 100 times. But how in the world did I forget THIS ingredient?! My co-workers are just peaches so they all said that the cuppies tasted great...such nice little liars.

Vanilla.  I'll get you next time.

C.

Driver's Ed

Day in and day out I commute over 60 miles a day round trip.  As you can imagine, my car has a lot of miles.  I have been making this trip 5-6 days per week for about 9 years. I am pretty much used to it by now but the one thing that gets my blood boiling every time is traffic.  The jamming kind. The kind in which you are sitting on the main thoroughfare of the Denver Metro area with very little movement wishing you had a movie to watch and could do it safely because "driving" no longer includes using the accelerator.

Most days are fine.  There is some traffic but that is to be expected. But there are others, like last night, in which I have murder on my mind.

Accidents happen.  I get that. But why does it always, ALWAYS, have to affect traffic in such a way that is backs up for miles? These accidents that cause my blood pressure to rise are never life-threatening. They are generally a little fender bender that should have been moved away from traffic without the aid of police -  exchange your insurance info and be on your way.  You don't need to talk about the weather, or your kids, or make plans for drinks later...Wrap. It. Up. And for those of you that aren't involved? There is this saying I like to use in my house that goes, "How about you worry about you and let ____ worry about ____." Let's all do that and move along our merry little ways!

On my way home last night, there were no less than 3 accidents clogging up the roadways I frequent on my commute home. And another jam was caused by lights! Not police lights - construction lights!  Suddenly everyone is a vampire and can't look into florescent lights so OMG! STOP!!!! BAH!

The one that particularly infuriated me was the one on the OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD. You know these jams - the looky-loos going in the opposite direction stopping to see what all the hooplah is all about over there.  Here's an idea..if you want to look soooo bad, turn around and get into THAT traffic and have yourself a good long look since I know you won't follow by aforementioned suggestion of minding your own business.

My language gets quite colorful when these little gems meet me on my way home. It's 2013...I thought we were supposed to have hover crafts by now?! That would really be better for me.

C.

Something Old, Something New...

Isn't it funny how a day can turn out? By complete accident, I find myself thinking of my wedding day. It isn't my anniversary. It is just Tuesday. Hell, I didn't even get married on a Tuesday! Or on the 15th! Or in January. But alas, fond memories of the day I said "I do" to my groom surface.

As I was choosing my outfit for the day, I also thought about my accessories - specifically jewelry.  I know which earrings I'm going to wear but what necklace?  I know - the snake. The snake that hangs from a black cord.  I don't wear it often as it doesn't quite go with just anything.  I mean, it's a serpent. One must choose wisely.  I figure it will go just fine with orange and black.

At work, I take notice of a picture on a co-workers desk.  I pick it up and look at it...O.M.G. Is that? What? Could it really be? It has to be. Yep.  The same wedding gown. We wore the same wedding gown!  But I'm not the least bit upset by this...Angie is a lovely gal! As it turns out, I'm not the only girl who went for a popular bridal gown designer with the square beaded neckline!  I am sure Angie will agree it is a gorgeous dress. We also both chose some red for our colors...go figure!

Then I get to thinking about the neckpiece I chose to wear today.  My husband gave it to me on our wedding day. It was a bit unexpected since I hadn't remembered even mentioning that I liked it.  Turns out, I didn't really...well, I sort of did.  When we were window shopping in Tiffany's, he pointed it out and I said it was cool.  Unbeknownst to me, he took that as a green light! It is certainly unlike any other piece of jewelry I own. And I would have never picked it out for myself, but I am happy to have it.

The thing that I love the most about gifts is that someone took the time to think about me. And think enough about and of me to spend some money. For the man I married, jewelry is never on the list...but when he comes through with a little box containing something pretty, I can't help but to love it. <3

C.

Double Whammy!

It's Monday...after the big loss weekend.  My wounds are still pussy so I don't want to talk about it too much...to fresh. Bleck!

And as any Monday would have it, things MUST go wrong. That Mr. Murphy - he sure knew what he was talking about. Let me count the ways:

1. Didn't get much sleep after 3:30am.  I had a boy-shaped backpack weighing about 60 lbs strapped to my back for the duration. That little sucker is a heat miser too! You parents know...
2. "Slept" too long. Now we are in a rush.
3. The old dog, Lily - bless her pretty face and heart, peed on the floor. Awesome. We are out of salt.
4. Get the boy off to school and look! It is snowing. Great. I didn't pack his gloves.
5. We went in the front door today since it was so blasted cold and I found out that we missed a student council meeting last week. Thank you, other random student, for asking the front desk about when the next meeting is.  "It was in the news letter..." Well let me tell you about the news letter - it is sent via email along with about 47 other emails per week so shocker that I didn't bother reading it.  Stop spamming me, Boulder Valley School District! Now I know there is a meeting next week - these things were not on the original schedule I have on my fridge. Better remember to add it to a calendar somewhere.
6. I go home and start the car. Ole' girl barely wants to fire up.
7. Looky there - I don't have any time to put on my makeup. 
8. Gather all by bags - computer, makeup, hand - and schlep it all to my still-running car! Whew!
9. Hmmm...no gas. Guess I'll be stopping.
10. Get gas and decide to be a grizzly - I'm already a bear as it is. I'm getting a snack and FULL CALORIE soda! This should make my day better - read: worse since I'll hate myself afterward.
11. Traffic is atrocious. This should be a fun commute.
12. Finally to work....

So I get to work and it is what it is.  Lots of paper to move around. Lots of emails to answer. Lots of this and that. And I still need to go to the restroom to put on my face.

Then I look in my handbag and find something rather cute and it makes me smile! A Nerf dart.

Aww, my boy shot a dart into my bag! What a little sweetie heart! After conversing a little with my husband about the morning, I tell him about the little magical find in my purse.  "Yeah, that was me by accident. I picked up a bunch off the floor and put them in the cabinet and one fell into your purse and then fell deeper in when I reached in to get it...so I left it." Well, crap! I wanted MAGIC! What it really comes down to is that my husband is afraid of what might bite him from the depths of my handbag...it's probably better that way.

C.

Captain Let-Down

The cupcakes did NOT tell the tale of reality. Thank you, Matt Prater, for missing that field goal.  Thank you, Peyton Manning, for that super interception and fumble. Thank you, Coach Fox, for forcing OT with with 30 seconds remaining and not evening giving it a shot. Thank you, Defense, for not showing up.

I had big hopes for this game. The Ravens wanted a rematch, they got it, and they got the better of The Broncos.  I found myself saying, "NOOOOO!" far too often. The boys in blue and orange are done for this season and I am very unhappy about it.

Coming into this game on a winning streak, ranked #1, and on home turf should have clinched it for us.  But they didn't give Baltimore enough credit - they wanted revenge. They were ready to play some good football.  They delivered for their fans and for their life in the playoffs.

I'm as good a Monday morning quarterback as any.  Except it is Sunday. Should have done this...could have done that...why on earth did they think that was a good idea?! Anything can happen on game day. I suppose I'm particularly bitter because I took the Broncos to the Super Bowl! I was ready to make my best batch of orange and blue cupcakes for folks to shove down their gullets!!  Now I will have to settle for some other colors. Bah!

 

We have next season.  We always have next season. I need some retail therapy to help me cope with this one...something tells me I won't be able to make a compelling argument to pull it off.

C.

Denver vs. Baltimore

At 2:30 MT today, the NFL playoffs continue with the good guys ranked #1 in their conference.  Here is how I see this match up shaking out...

The Denver Broncos vs. The Baltimore Ravens

Denver is on home turf which will give them an automatic advantage.  Our fans are loud and proud and I imagine Baltimore will have never seen so much orange in one place.  They will start off nice and friendly...

The wrappers will come off and the game will play out with both teams giving and taking a little bit of a beating. It will probably be a close game for a while...maybe even at the half.  But the good guys will prevail leaving the Ravens tucking their tail feathers...

 

 

And the Ravens will be "never more."

 

Side note: I have 11 bracket points riding on this one. Denver, don't fail me now!!

 

C. 

 

From Table 93

After sitting in traffic for an hour and fifteen minutes, I had worked up more than just an appetite. I called V and asked him to meet me at the restaurant.

I arrive to a completely full parking lot. It's freezing and I have to park in the back 40. No problem. I greet my family in the very frigid foyer and then excuse myself to powder my nose - that's supposed to be the polite way of saying I need to tinkle. I do my business and begin to wash my hands like a good girl. I am joined to the left by another patron of Hacienda. She asks me, "Are you ever afraid of losing that? Or do you always keep it in your mouth?" What the..?? Kidding...I knew precisely what she was talking about. My wedding ring was being held between my teeth. I always take it off when I wash my hands...or bake...or give a hair cut...or anything that requires my hands and might get my ring dirty...I don't always keep it in my mouth. Sometimes it goes in my pocket until my hands are dry.

I rejoin my family, make chit chat, then we are escorted to Table 93. Food is ordered and enjoyed without incident. Nearby there is a lady talking about Kwanzaa, a baby making a machine gun sound, and this at my table...

S: Should I color or eat?
V: Eat....because you can't color this flavor into your mouth.

Friday night...nothing like Katy's.

C.

Girl Problems - #1

Girl Problems - #1

I was told the other day that my last couple entries were a bit on the Debbie Downer side.  Ok…I’ll give her that. Circumstances!

In honor of her – let’s call her Mandy – I’m going to start unveiling the truth behind being a girl and our troubles! Disclaimer: these will not be ACTUAL problems. I’m not talking world hunger, gun control, or conflict diamonds. Think more along the lines of Meatball Problems! (Thank you, Snooki.)

Handbags. Glorious, designer handbags. Since the beginning of time (I would imagine) women have been the ‘pack mules’ of their group – schlepping everyone’s crap in a bag or a basket or a wagon. Moms, especially, get strapped with this task. How often do you see Dad carrying a diaper bag? We have taken on this role, whether we like it or not, mostly without complaint. 

Some women have taken the task to the next level and made it at stylish! Handbags are available in just about every size, color, style, and finish you can imagine. Some are very inexpensive and some are about as expensive as throwing all the crap you need to carry away and buying it all again 117 times over! No matter the price tag, we (women) buy. Do not blame us.  If we are going to carry YOUR stuff, let us at least have something pretty to put it in…that also happens to match our outfit....and?!

Enter Girl Problem #1.  Pretty gets dirty! The dialogue goes something like this, “…and the wing sauce stained my BRAND NEW _____ bag!!! I don’t care about my cheap t-shirt (and it got on my jeans) but my BAG!..Imma cry....” Poor thing. Did I laugh? No – well, a little.  I felt her pain!

These things are investments to us. We show them off.  We don’t DARE put them on the floor. We find a brand we LOVE and want one in every color.  We change them out often.  We organize the insides often - look, it needs to be neat if someone ever sees the inside.  God forbid it should be a mess!  And you need us to have them...I cannot tell you how many times I've heard, "Bring the big one - we need to sneak this stuff in." Talking about the movies. Just a couple trips there and the thing pays for itself in snack savings.  Perhaps I'll tackle the price of going to the movies on another day - gotta polish up that soapbox.

Luckily, my husband plays along with my NEED for these glorious handbags. Afterall, they are functional. Now jewelry on the other hand....oy vey.  I do hope that Mandy gets her pretty taken care of.  That wing place that shall remain nameless (rhymes with Schmuffalo Schmild Schmings) owes her.

Now, I need a grey one...and blue...and yellow....and I may have a problem.

 

C.

 

Nope.

Actual excerpt from a conversation yesterday with an anonymous close person in my life (ACPIML)...

ACPIML: Are you pregnant?
Me: Nope. I'm just fat.
ACPIML: But blah blah blah and blah blah.
Me: Nope. Just fat.

Awesome.

C.

Looking at the World Through Scratched-to-Hell Glasses

Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.  We've all heard the phrase and it generallly evokes a feeling of overwhelming positivity...often thinking of something as much better than it actually is.  There is certainly nothing wrong with taking this stance in life - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! (or lemon cupcakes!)

But as I look through my scratched-to-hell sunglasses day in and day out, I wonder about the other side of the coin. What about those that take a negative look at life - I have lemons...great. No sugar. I can make nothing but a sour face with this! Focusing on the scratches, being held back...

I have found myself on the negative end of the spectrum on more than one occasion. I'm no stranger to this method of thinking.  From a young age, I learned that things go wrong all the time - people leave you, they die, you're poor, bologna makes a hearty meat sandwich. It took me a long time to realize that there is some lemonade to be made here! Just because the sugar isn't in an obvious white bag labeled "Sugar", doesn't mean it can't be squeezed from something else.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - there is the sugar! Life lessons they call them. Eventually, once you are done wallowing in your own self-pity and don't get me wrong it has it's place, you can look at what happened objectively and find your take away. I've learned that this isn't always a quick process - sometimes it takes days or years to realize things aren't all that horrible.

So next time I put on those figurative scratched-to-hell glasses, I'm going to remember to look through the scratches to find the beauty beyond... 

C.

This is me tapping...

I have a clear case of the Mondays - I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to make the drive to work, didn't want to work once I got there, didn't want to take a walk on a break...But I forced myself through most of it.  The walk hasn't happened...maybe later.

I have my desk mostly caught up - the old paperwork shuffle...I'm sure you know the dance - and I break for lunch.  I brought some of that awesome potato soup from yesterday, a strawberry cheesecake cup, and a diet Dew. It was quite satisfying and I return to the grind.

The day progresses and here she comes...that bitch that rears her ugly head all the time!  A headache...and she is bound and determined to turn into a migraine. Oh no...no, no, no.  Not today.  I'm in no mood to deal with this along with the rest of the Monday shenanigans. Most of the time, all I can do is take my OTC pharmaceuticals (only migraine-grade will have a chance) and hope for the best.  Today is no different.  I am usually unable to leave work and rest it off so I'm used to this sort of thing. If I'm lucky, I can catch it in time to prevent that evil B from getting worse. It's a crap-shoot. Bottoms up and tablets down!

Time will tell if Excedrine will work today but when the mister asks if I took anything, the answer will be yes. Fingers crossed.

C.

I.Dub Potato Soup

I had a different plan for today's blog entry but it soon changed as I was preparing dinner. I'll keep my other idea in my back pocket.:)

A few nights ago the long asked question, especially in our house, of "What do you want for dinner?" and the predictable answer of "I don't know...what do you want?" came up. Stalemate. What now?  We are in a food rut. It comes around every so often...Okay, a lotta so often. Either there isn't time to cook or we don't want to or the kid has his heart set on something else - usually breakfast for dinner (or brinner as I've heard). So in order to avoid something we are sick of eating, I visit that one website I like to live vicariously through - Pinterest.

I have boards that are supposed to help my life! I have grand ideas when I pin something - like OMG! I'm going to be the best _____ ever!!!! How silly of me. I have to actually DO the pins in order to be _____. Hmph.  I wanted it to act by osmosis. Damn it.

Okay, Chantel, it's go time! I address my board "Savory Foods" and look for some quick meals.  I sent a couple to V for approval and felt pretty good about it! We were both excited about something new - psyched! But guess what? None of the meals I sent made it past email. Shoot! I had big hopes!  But, some of the ingredients were purchased for a potato dish. Alright, IronWing, you've got a start on something else.

I decide I want to make some potato soup.  Never done it but man, does it sound good! Growing up, I didn't enjoy eating potato soup.  My mom wasn't the best cook (Sorry, Mom!) and her potato soup was rather bland and pretty watery.  Based on that, I never had the desire to try my hand at it.  I'm a pretty much self taught cook/baker - I have learned much from the Food Network and experimenting in the kitchen. Luckily, I haven't killed my family yet with my creations. I looked around at several recipes but nothing was 'perfect' so I did what I do and made my own version.  I whip it up and it is DELICIOUS!  My husband, the one that doesn't go for soup, actually liked it enough to get seconds! Score one for the Gipper!

It is just too good not to share so I'm gonna! Below my recipe with my own directions so I hope they make sense!

What you need:

• Chicken stock (25 oz box)
• 2 c. peeled, diced potatoes - whatever variety you like
• 3 tbls butter
• 1 small onion (i used yellow) - diced
• 3 tbls all-purpose flour
• 3 c. milk (mine was whole)
• 1 c. shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 c. diced ham
• Pepper to taste

First, add your diced potatoes to the chicken stock. Boil until the potatoes are fork-tender. Drain potatoes, but retain 1 cup of liquid. Remove potatoes from pot and set aside. In same pot, add butter and onions and saute. Once butter is melted and the onions are translucent, add flour.  Combine thoroughly to make roux. Cook roux for approximately 2-3 minutes.  It will look like a paste with onions in it. Slowly add reserved stock liquid and whisk with roux. Once all clumps are gone, add milk, cheese, ham, and pepper.  Stir together.  Add potatoes back to the mixture. Simmer for about 30 minutes or until you are sick of waiting and just want to eat!

Note - I did not add any additional salt.  I used original recipe chicken stock (which has salt) and ham as a lot of salt as well.  Cheese is salty so it didn't need additional salt.  If you prefer more, just add some to your pot to taste! The roux thickens the soup. The husband thought I used heavy cream.

Warning! Your family will want this again!! :) I sure do wish I had some green onions to make the picture look prettier...

C. 

Goodbye, Plastic Pine...

The holidays are officially over and it is time to get back to normalcy around town.  The trees will be their normal shade of brown and their limbs will be bare. Rooftops will be dark at night and the magical, glowing deer will retire to their dusty spot in the garage.  But let's back up just a few days/weeks/months...

It's a wonderful July afternoon - a hot July afternoon in sunny Colorado. I go to Hobby Lobby to gather some things - probably for that little baking thing I do. On my way to the baking aisle with my son in tow, I have to meander through the store - don't act like you don't do the same thing.  Oh! Christmas already?! Sheesh! BUT, also at 40% off? Really?! This could get interesting. What do we have here?  Well, there is the regular boring red, green and gold.  Standard...bleck.  My friends at Hobby Lobby have featured another theme that I LOVE! Peacock. Yes, it will be so.  I shall have a peacock-inspired tree this year!

So as I look through my options, I pick out some solid choices for the tree of 2012. In July. My boy was getting a little carried away - a man after my own heart!  But I had to put the brakes on so that I wouldn't get served with a divorce later in the day. I continue my shopping trip...

Fast forward to November.  Now, there is some contention on when the "right" time is to put up the tree.  Some folks enjoy having the tree up to enjoy during Thanksgiving.  Not me.  Let the turkey have it's time. It doesn't need to glow from the Christmas tree lights.  I don't believe there should be a melting pot of holidays the last Thursday of November.  So I wait.  If I had my druthers, it would go up on Black Friday. However, I'm of the working retail folk and don't get that day off.  I don't dare trust my husband to handle the tree trimming because it will be wrong. No matter what. Not because he doesn't know how to construct an artificial tree and hang ornaments but because I'm super anal and no one is allowed to help! That is one of my "endearing" qualities.....en-dear-ing! (also this - my trees are always coordinated...but that is a whole 'nother Oprah.)

The tree goes up the weekend following Thanksgiving and usually takes a few hours to complete. By the end, the tree is lovely and it looks like we had a gaggle of strippers in the house that rolled around on the floor and left their glitter behind. Now let me address the people that WAIT to put up their tree just before Christmas - are you HIGH?! You need time to enjoy the splendor of a decorated tree! The time it takes to put the damn thing up must be offset in a high ratio of time to look it it. IMHO.

Christmas comes and goes.  I know many folks that take theirs down right away.  I suppose that is okay. I wait until after the New Year.  There are two reasons - 1. I still like to look at it. 2. I'm lazy and have to work up the gumption for all those trips up and down the basement stairs to pack it all up.

Today the tree comes down. Back to normalcy. I have been given strict instructions NOT to buy anything new for the tree of 2013. I'm going to try really, really hard to adhere to those instructions....329 days til the IronWing Christmas Tree goes up again!

 

C. 

Lunchtime Surprises!

Oh me! Oh my! As I'm toiling away at work, I turn around to a pleasant surprise...

"Here you go! This is really good and I know you'll like it!" What's this? A BIG chicken caesar salad! Complete with croutons - which I don't usually eat but I think I'll make an exception today. Totally out of the blue. And I owe all my thanks to Ms. Julie.

She is one of my jewelers. And she's good at her job.  But, she is also one of the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Hailing form Vietnam, she has made a nice life for herself her in the U.S. She is married with two beautiful children and has a career of almost 20 years...and she is SASSY! I just love her. :)

This salad was really delightful.  It had all the makings of a basic caesar - lettuce, chicken, parmesan cheese, tomatoes, croutons and dressing. I took out the tomatoes because I hate them. Gross. I could have used more parm but beggars can't be choosers.  I love cheese! The chicken was juicy and pretty much perfect....

I did not finish this yummy salad...I got tired of chewing.  Thanks, Jewels! <3

~C.

Real Men of Genius

Here's to you, Mister Won't-Stop-Talking-About-His-Bracket Guy!

Who's going to win that hundred bucks? YOU'RE gonna win that hundred bucks, and tell me about it every 5 minutes. (This is worst than mega-millions.) Sure, maybe you like Butler's chances and quote "Like the look of Jackson State", but the first college basketball game you watched was last week...on ESPN Classic. (Watch out for Christian Latner!) Winthrop over Norte Dame, Boston College won't hold off Texas Tech...no one cares. Who Does Shirley in the mailroom have? She's won the office pool the last three years running. (She's got an aunt down in Florida!) So here's to you Mister Won't-Stop-Talking-About-His-Bracket Guy.  For you the madness is not just March. (Mister Won't-Stop-Talking-About-His-Bracket Guy!)

2013 NFL Playoff Bracket. This is happening in my office.  Do we have a mailroom? Sort of...Jake lives in there and Mandy visits from time to time.  There is no Shirley I know of so I'm in the clear in that regard.  But I can at least say that I have a few games this season. However, the NFC eludes me. I haven't a clue who the winners and losers are - besides their seed ranking...well, maybe just a small, cute, little clue but it is quite miniature.

Now, the AFC...there is where my boys live.  Gimme a B!...R-O-N-C-O-S! The orange and blue.  Some say that God is a Bronco fan which is why the sunsets are orange and blue.  Who am I to argue? The best day of my football life (in recent history) was when we (cause I'm clearly part of the team) signed Mr. Peyton Manning.  Always been a fan of him - even as he played with the baby horses (The Colts). The guy is a phenomenal player.  Love him or hate him you can't deny that coming back from multiple neck surgeries and taking a brand new team (to him) to the playoffs ranked #1 in their conference is no small feat!

So it is no surprise that I picked my boys for The Big Show.  I'll be biting my artificial nails during the New England game - duh, they are going to make it that far - and sipping my Diet Mt. Dew hoping not to spill it as I cheer from my easy chair. Ok - I don't have an easy chair. It is a stylish arm chair.  But you get it.

Winner takes all in the bracket pool.  This is my first go at Resolution #4. Are you ready for some football?!

C.

Zumbacalifragilisticexpialidocious

For some, certain aspects of fitness "are what they are".  And for others, it is a way of life...but not only when the time comes to work out. It becomes a craft.  Sometimes an obsession. And when it does, you know the marketing department did its job. Case in point: Zumba.  There are instructors. There are different KINDS of classes - i.e. Zumba, Zumba Toning, Aqua Zumba, Zumbacalifragilisticexpialidocious. They have a clothing line and footwear.  They even have games for Wii and Kinect.  Not to mention at-home videos and dare I say clubs? They have popular artists that agree to have their tunes remixed so that the word "Zumba" arrives at least once. And admittedly, I love it.

I like to attend a class 2-3 times per week.  The perfect class (for me) looks something like this: I get there at least 5 minutes early.  This gives me time to scope out the other attendees. On the perfect day, my girlfriends are there too. The instructor is also there at least 5 minutes early - usually making the rounds with a happy-go-lucky demeanor. Everyone goes in, puts their things away and I get my spot.The class starts and all my favorites are on the playlist! I know all these routines...I don't have to think about them I just need to execute flawlessly. (It is a competition...I don't know if anyone else knows it.) And I do. I don't roll an ankle, I don't fall down. 60 minutes is up already?! Class ends with a nice stretch...court adjourned.

Now for the other side of the coin...when Zumba Group Fitness class goes awry...

I'm late. The instructor is late and she seems as though we are a bother to make her show up to teach our fat asses through these songs. The girls aren't there for comic relief so I'm on my own. Crap. My spot, MINE, has been taken by someone else. How am I supposed to concentrate?! The playlist sucks. I don't know these songs. They aren't in English so I can't even sing along. Why the mad face?  Well, since I don't know the songs, I have to concentrate on the instructor extra hard from some other place in the room that I'm not used to so that I don't break myself. How long have we been doing this? OMG! It's only been 20 minutes...only 40 to go. But I can't leave. That would be rude...although it seems like I'd be doing Little Miss Sourpuss a favor...

Class tonight was neither of these scenarios but it could have been a disaster due to those pesky little new year's resolutions. I will admit that I was thinking more than I like to when burning the cals, but there were some familiar tunes in the mix. Class was full. No surprise. I got there early. The instructor was in good spirits.  I won the competition and most important, I got my spot. Mine.

C.