Let me tell you about my morning....
It all started regularly - getting my boy and myself ready for school and work, respectively. I come back home after the school drop-off and as I'm about to leave, I have some very sad looking puppy dog eyes looking in my general direction. Ok, girls, you can come to work today. And in dog-speak, "YIPPY!"
I only brought 2/3 of the gang. I thought I would give Lily a mental break. :) So I prepare for the drive by placing a towel on my front seat 'just in case'. I needed it....
I get a block down the road, and Dahlia, the Duchess of Dook, drops a tootsie roll in the passenger seat. OMG! REALLY?! You went out before we left! Both dogs are now in my lap. I pull over after cursing at the dogs to get in the back seat and lean over to open the door and whip the turds out...except I don't get the door open enough and one of the bootycakes goes into the door pocket. Blood pressure rising... "How the hell am I going to get this out?!?!?!" I had a napkin in the glove box (WHEW!) and attempt at getting this thing out without it touching me and it breaks in effing half. Breathe, Chantel. No breathing...just yelling! I finally get the poop out and look in the backseat and my dogs are terrified! Frankly, they should have been. I don't take kindly to poop in my front seat!
I apologize to the dogs for yelling and get back on the road. It was quite a hassle because they are quite jealous of each other and if one is in my lap, well then both need to be there. Obviously. I finally get them both to the passenger seat and now here it comes - the real reason I prepared with a towel. Dahlia gets carsick. She is a puker. Puke #1 out. And then back in. Yes. Puke #2 a little later. Out and then back in except this time I nearly lost my cookies too. Maggie was looking at me desperately to sit in my lap to get away from the carnage.
Now that we are both sick to our stomachs, I roll into the parking lot at work only to find D tossing a third pile right in between my seat and console. FML. I mean really. How am I going to clean THAT up?!?! Serenity now...serenity now... I guess I'm cracking the windows.
At work. All is well. I give the girls some potty breaks and Maggie is a good soldier and goes outside like an animal is supposed to. But not, Dahlia. No, sir. She waits until I go get some complimentary pizza and wings to make her own Lake Erie on the carpet. Why? WHY?!
I try to do something nice. Maggie was a perfect little gem all day. But D, now the Duchess of Puke, or Devil, is on my shit list. (Isn't that punny!) Now to do something about her cuteness so that I can stay mad at her...
C.
It all started regularly - getting my boy and myself ready for school and work, respectively. I come back home after the school drop-off and as I'm about to leave, I have some very sad looking puppy dog eyes looking in my general direction. Ok, girls, you can come to work today. And in dog-speak, "YIPPY!"
I only brought 2/3 of the gang. I thought I would give Lily a mental break. :) So I prepare for the drive by placing a towel on my front seat 'just in case'. I needed it....
I get a block down the road, and Dahlia, the Duchess of Dook, drops a tootsie roll in the passenger seat. OMG! REALLY?! You went out before we left! Both dogs are now in my lap. I pull over after cursing at the dogs to get in the back seat and lean over to open the door and whip the turds out...except I don't get the door open enough and one of the bootycakes goes into the door pocket. Blood pressure rising... "How the hell am I going to get this out?!?!?!" I had a napkin in the glove box (WHEW!) and attempt at getting this thing out without it touching me and it breaks in effing half. Breathe, Chantel. No breathing...just yelling! I finally get the poop out and look in the backseat and my dogs are terrified! Frankly, they should have been. I don't take kindly to poop in my front seat!
I apologize to the dogs for yelling and get back on the road. It was quite a hassle because they are quite jealous of each other and if one is in my lap, well then both need to be there. Obviously. I finally get them both to the passenger seat and now here it comes - the real reason I prepared with a towel. Dahlia gets carsick. She is a puker. Puke #1 out. And then back in. Yes. Puke #2 a little later. Out and then back in except this time I nearly lost my cookies too. Maggie was looking at me desperately to sit in my lap to get away from the carnage.
Now that we are both sick to our stomachs, I roll into the parking lot at work only to find D tossing a third pile right in between my seat and console. FML. I mean really. How am I going to clean THAT up?!?! Serenity now...serenity now... I guess I'm cracking the windows.
At work. All is well. I give the girls some potty breaks and Maggie is a good soldier and goes outside like an animal is supposed to. But not, Dahlia. No, sir. She waits until I go get some complimentary pizza and wings to make her own Lake Erie on the carpet. Why? WHY?!
I try to do something nice. Maggie was a perfect little gem all day. But D, now the Duchess of Puke, or Devil, is on my shit list. (Isn't that punny!) Now to do something about her cuteness so that I can stay mad at her...
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