On the radio last night they were talking about a candy list released by Buzzfeed. It was "19 Types of Candy That Should be Wiped Off the Planet." I found this intriguing so I went to the list myself. It is clearly missing some biggies. And there are others where I'm all like "What the..??" I'm taking it on...
1. Black Jellybeans - agreed. These are awful and should never EVER be in the mix. If you are one of those people that like licorice, buy some anise and put in your tea.
2. Laffy Taffy - wrong. This should not be on the list. Where else are you going to get super cheeseball jokes? The internets? Maybe, but it isn't as fun. Plus the candy is just plain good.
3. 3 Musketeers - wrong again. This is a candy bar that is all fluff and nothing else is needed! Not to mention the many different methods of consumption.
4. Dubble Bubble - this is the worst gum on the planet. It is always hard and has only a mild bubble gum flavor that lasts about 7 chews. I get more from the flavored junk the dentist uses.
5. Dum Dums - I could take 'em or leave 'em. They are a nice, sweet treat in a pinch but I think it is a cop out when my kid gets a bag full of them on Halloween. I break off the stick when I eat one because it always swells up and becomes a nasty piece of paper. That is just sick.
6. Good and Plenty - never had them. There is probably a reason for that.
7. Runts - if these cease to exist, I probably wouldn't even notice. I liked them at one point in my life...
8. Rolos - what?? No way. What is not to love about these?? Chocolate. Caramel. Bite size. Enough said.
9. Milk Duds - ok, so these are the same ingredients as Rolos BUT these crappy things stick to the teeth and are really difficult to eat. I don't think I've ever had a 'fresh' one.
10. Junior Mints - um, no. These are delish little bites of heaven that melt in your mouth. Mint and chocolate were meant to be married.
11. Bulk Gummy Bears - I don't like gummy anything. Lose 'em.
12. Bit-O-Honey - isn't this another really REALLY hard and difficult to eat candy? Why must candy makers make this stuff break our teeth? Either make it softer or don't make it at all.
13. Raisinets - don't need them.
14. Lemonheads - gross. Halt production.
15. Flavored Tootsie Rolls - OMG! These are one of my favorite non-chocolate candies on the planet! I don't know what it is about them but I always get excited when I see them. I think banks should replace their crappy Dum Dums with Flavored Tootsie Rolls.
16. Tootsie Pops - don't you DARE try and put that owl out of business. This sucker saved my arse during my first tattoo.
17. Dots - these are as bad as gummies. Next.
18. Chunky Bar - what is this??
19. Strawberry Hard Candies - these are only good when they have that syrupy filling. I get a little bit disgruntled when I'm duped by a completely hard one.
Now the ones that I think they missed are:
1. Circus Peanuts - while I remember my mama loving to get these, they taste bad, are a really unnatural color, and have a weird texture. Sorry, Mom. These gotta go.
2. Necco wafers - Y.U.C.K.
3. Conversation hearts - there is only one that tastes decent - white. All the others are what you give someone you DON'T want to be your Valentine because they taste awful.
4. Crunch bar - True story: my boss bought a giant bag of snack-size candy over the holidays to serve as little "pick me ups" and I was no stranger to this bag. I avoided the Crunches like the plague...and clearly I wasn't the only one because there were like 50 left when everything else was gone. They are garbage.
5. Whoppers - I do not understand these. First off, malt? Ew. And it is sort of a rip off considering there is very little weight to them and they dissolved instantly. Just give me your money instead.
Now, if you know me, you know I love sweets which includes candy. My favorites (in no order) are Reece's of all kinds, Payday, Twix, Kit Kat, Almond Joy, Sour Patch Kids, Boston Baked Beans, Snickers, York Peppermint Patties, Mr. Goodbar, Take 5, Turtles, Peanut or Almond M&Ms,Cadbury Creme Eggs....now I want candy.
...And I want Cherry and Bubb back!
C.
You errased all the ones that MaMA likes.
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